Anecdotal & Statistical Proof That Women Over Forty Are Not Destined To Be Old Maids
When I was a kid I used to think that it was funny that unmarried women of a certain age were called old maids. So was a kid’s card game and, funnily enough, unpopped popcorn kernels. The unpopped popcorn kernels were a metaphor for something, I think.
I was humbled, humbled, I tell you, by the comments of one man named David, from the United Kingdom, on my blog yesterday. He reminded me that although the statistics seem to skew for men who are interested only in significantly younger women that not all men are that way. He himself prefers women closer to his own age. Or, at least, of the women he’s been dating lately, the one who was his favorite was a woman in her mid thirties, because he could relate to her. With the good men, the kind of man you might want to marry someday, personality will play a significant role.
I hesitate to mention the example of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore given their recent tabloid rumors – but Ashton and Demi. I mean, he did marry her. There’s a sixteen year age difference there. And there are certainly other examples somewhere besides fictional characters like Harold and Maude and even some where the woman is not the boy’s school teacher and the boy is not under age. Some men prefer older women or women closer to their own age.
All kidding aside, men generally prefer younger women because nature has made them that way, and shouldn’t we all thank the good Lord that it did. To produce healthy babies men have to mate with younger women, hence, the attraction. They’re made that way. They really, literally can’t help it.
We could talk about how that’s unfair all day long, the biological clock and all, but the plain fact of the matter is that one of a child’s parents should have a good chance of living until it reaches adulthood. Giving a woman a finite number of eggs and years in which to accomplish procreation seems designed to ensure that the kid is not just born but also raised by at least one loving parent.
So, I did a lot of reading on the internet yesterday, because David challenged me, on the chances of a woman’s marrying for the first time after the age of forty. And one thing I found out was that a Newsweek article from 1986 that said that college educated women over forty have a greater chance of being killed by terrorists than marrying for the first time is statistically unsound. Can you imagine? Shocking!
Eighty percent of all women are married by the age of forty. Of those women who remain unmarried, they have at least a 40% statistical probability of eventually marrying, maybe even better! And those statistics are probably not accounting for lesbians or for women who don’t even WANT to get married, for whatever reason.
In my reading I found advice for women over 40 who wish to marry for the first time. The advice, in a nutshell, is to relax your standards. Don’t relax them about everything, but about the stuff that’s frivolous, let it go. In other words, he should be kind and make you laugh but the full head of hair might be something you could compromise on.
Also, when a woman is in her teens and twenties she starts to put up many barriers to screen out unwanted suitors. After 40, it might be time to lower the drawbridge. Let down your guard a little. When you were younger and there were many, many unsuitable suitors it made sense to give the men some hurdles to jump. Now, not so much. Men are intimidated by them. They want a woman who’s approachable – another quality that the younger women have in spades because they don’t have the battle scars that come with dating over time. The approachable thing might take some work.
In my internet scouring I found many helpful articles and even a forum of a discussion on the subject that I’ve copied and pasted a link to below. I also copied and pasted the Wikipedia pages of famous women who were first married after the age of 40. Yes, these women all look 20 because they have the money for that personal chef and personal trainer and personal plastic surgeon, but “real” women get married after 40, too. I promise. I think I’ve even met some of them. In conclusion, I’m also pasting an inspirational song from YouTube to give you some motivation. So, if you’re a woman of a certain age and you want to be married, get out there and strut your stuff!