The Mean Reds

July 23, 2009 at 12:13 am 2 comments

Holly Golightly coined the phrase The Mean Reds. Instead of having the blues she had the mean reds. Sometimes I think that I have the mean reds. To me, it’s like an extreme form of the blues. It’s like being suddenly and inexplicably depressed. There’s no reason to it. It can last for a day or several days or even several weeks.

There are thoughts that play through my head. The thoughts are like this. I am somehow unlovable. I will die alone. I will never have sex again unless a mortician molests my dead body. They will find my dead body partially eaten by my dog. There is no point to life. Why do I get out of bed in the morning? I used to think I was special, and I would do something great with my life, but the truth is that I’m just ordinary. My life has no purpose or meaning. The things I wanted out of life will never be mine. I can’t even get the consolation prizes that should automatically be mine. The rules of the universe change in order to bring me disappointment. Why do I even try?

This is the soundtrack in my mind. I am dangerous when I get like this. I say things that provoke arguments. I misunderstand what’s said to me. I attribute the worst meaning possible to innocuous statements. I should just refuse to speak with people when I have the mean reds. I should write letters of apology in advance.

It’s too bad that you can’t check into a mental hospital for a day, and there’s no such thing as a Prozac drip or a 24-hour antidepressant.

Advertisements

Entry filed under: Depression, Mental Health. Tags: , , , , , , , .

All the Days of Our Lives More Food

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. sabina braz  |  January 11, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    I guess there must be many victims of the mean reads… I am one too. And it’s funny, because I didn’t think it occured the same way to many people… I mean, the reds can come to almost everyone, but do we really think and act in the same ways? Good description. hope you are fine now.

    Reply
    • 2. Author  |  January 11, 2011 at 11:26 pm

      On most days I am much better. Thank you for asking.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


Blog Stats

  • 179,151 hits

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 82 other followers

July 2009
M T W T F S S
« Jun   Aug »
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

%d bloggers like this: