There was a link on CNN two days ago to a book being published by a woman from Australia who readily describes herself as a formerly kept woman, a Sugar Baby, if you will. The woman writes under the pseudonym of Holly Hill, and she now has a boyfriend her own age with whom she presumably has a more equitable arrangement than she had in her mistress days.
Holly Hill says that men are incapable of fidelity, and that we women shouldn’t expect it. Instead, she advocates not having an open relationship (because that’s total sexual freedom without any conditions) but negotiating infidelity. Cheating with conditions, with strings attached. Holly says that this is the only way we’re going to keep our man.
How does this work exactly? You can sleep with so-and-so, but you can’t spoon with her. You can have sex, but you can’t kiss her. You can only boink women that I know aren’t more attractive than me. You can screw whomever you want as long as you bring home some jewelry afterward.
That last one doesn’t sound like anything new, and we’re supposed to be paying a former glorified prostitute $25 for a hard cover copy of crappy advice like this? I didn’t read this book before I gave my “review”, and I’m not going to read it. It’s a waste of my time.
Holly says that not only should you allow your man to cheat, you should cheat as well, after agreeing upon rules that your partner wants you to observe when you are cheating with another man.
First off, cheating is cheating. If you have to impose conditions on it, then you aren’t really okay with it. Plain and simple.
Secondly, men may be biologically hard wired to want variety. It makes reproductive sense. However, men aren’t actually animals. They have brains, and they can use them. And any man who wants to be with me will use his brain to keep his dick in his pants when it’s not in me. Those are my “conditions.” And if all women actually set forth these conditions instead of buying into the claptrap this woman is selling under the guise of relationship help, maybe the men would tow the line.
Here are the rules. Real simple. If you want to be with me, then you’ll be faithful. If you don’t want to be with me badly enough to do that, then don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out. I don’t want any man badly enough to put up with infidelity, negotiated or not. Frankly, I’d rather be by myself. I have more consideration for me than the kind of man who would cheat.
Here’s the link to the CNN article on Holly Hill: