I love this article I found on the current Oklahoma race for governor. For the first time ever, the governor’s race is a race between two women. This should be good news for feminists everywhere. Yay!
Now for the bad news. You knew there would be some. Apparently the Republican candidate is saying that she is more fully qualified than the Democratic candidate because she is…wait for it…a mother. Apparently, motherhood qualifies you for public office. I know that there are going to be a lot of men who will be interested in the fact that they are no longer qualified for public office by virtue of their testes.
This is the most ridiculous debate in the history of American politics. Despite the fact that the Democratic candidate is clearly and hands down the more credentialed candidate with previous political experience and a law degree, she isn’t qualified because she hasn’t been married and hasn’t seen fit to be fruitful and multiply.
Maybe the Republican candidate, a motherly nincompoop named Mary Fallin, would like to amend her statement to the more gender neutral parenthood. Parenthood qualifies one for public office. If Mary Fallin were in charge, then we would never have had Presidents Polk, Harding, or Buchanan. They were unqualified.
According to Ms. Fallin the ability to raise a family shows your ability to put others before yourself. Apparently putting others before yourself doesn’t show that ability unless the other in question came from your womb. That Mother Theresa, for instance…what a selfish bitch!
But you know who is supremely fit for public office. The following women:
Mary Kay LeTourneau
Susan Smith (if only she weren’t a felon)
I urge those of you Oklahomans who are politically active to please write in one of these imminently qualified candidates on your gubernatorial ballot.
Actually, I’m surprised that those of us who aren’t mothers are qualified for anything. Why do we even get out of bed in the morning? I’m probably not even qualified to write this blog or hold a job or, well, anything. Excuse me for a moment while I go kill myself. I’m so selfish that I’m obviously not fit to live.