Men, And More Scientific Research On Why I’m Doomed to Loneliness
I found this most terrific of blogs yesterday. First of all, I joined an internet dating site, and no, I have not changed my mind about dating. I would still rather drown in a tsunami than to have to deal with that pain and humiliation ever again. But you can’t get access to this fantastic blog unless you sign up like you want to date. After that, you just make no effort like usual, and people leave you alone.
This website is called OkCupid, and it’s free. One of the guys who owns the business takes statistics from trends he sees on the site, makes handy dandy charts and pie graphs and stuff and writes observations on social trends that he notices. He’s pretty funny. Some of the most particularly interesting ones involved message response rates and race. He also makes some astute observations on men, like for instance, that they are almost exclusively interested in pretty young things. Really?! Who knew?
One of the blog posts I read involved a controversy about the fact that black women have the lowest response rates of any race and middle eastern women have the highest response rate. There’s a lot of supposition about why that is but no one in the comments section, that I saw at any rate, has gotten it. It has nothing to do with big lips versus big noses. In fact, it has nothing to do with appearance at all. Shocking, you say. Not really.
The reason black women have the lowest response rate is that black women were feminists before the word was invented. Black women are strong. They raise families alone. They don’t care that they have higher education levels than black men; they aren’t going to let that hold them back. Their attitude about that seems to be the right one – let the black men catch up; I’m not waiting. Black women don’t take any shit or any prisoners. Black women are cool.
Middle eastern women, on the other hand, have a reputation for the opposite. Just how true that reputation would actually be in the Western world is up for debate, but the cultural perception remains. Guys like middle eastern women because they perceive them to be passive, docile, and subservient. In other words, a man thinks that he will get what he wants and get his needs met. And, well, who doesn’t want his needs met?
Basically, the perception is that these women will just be so grateful that they were allowed to keep their clitorises and happy that they’re the only wife that they might overlook a few socks on the floor or the occasional infidelity. Men think that middle eastern women are attractive because, right or wrong, they think that a middle eastern woman will let them call the shots and will be appreciative. And again, who doesn’t like to be appreciated? You almost can’t blame them.
I found another interesting article on men and ego on cnn.com. You can read it here:
Basically, it reiterates, in detail, something I already said in my post, Ten Rules About Men That All Women Should Know By The Time We’re Thirty.
In my perfect world, as opposed to the real world, men would care more about our character, our minds and personalities and souls, than they do about our bodies. Here’s my fantasy. In my fantasy some really great kind Christian guy who wants to encourage my dreams and live in equality and meet my needs falls in love with me entirely over the internet. He reads my blog faithfully and thinks I’m super funny and smart, and he doesn’t find that threatening at all. He doesn’t feel the need to compete with me; he just appreciates my humor and finds me charming and wants to fuck my brains out.
Actually, I think that was a movie with Steve Martin and Daryl Hannah. What was it called? It involved big noses again, but there were no middle eastern women in it. Oh, yeah. Roxanne, based on Cyrano de Bergerac. In it, a woman falls in love with an ugly man through the power of his words. Too bad it can’t happen the other way around. But men are what they are. And there’s no use in hoping for anything different. See my post about that right here: