Granny Squares

November 9, 2010 at 1:21 pm Leave a comment

Inglourious Basterds

Image by sdfbss via Flickr

This weekend was one of the Mr. Brewsters’ birthdays. Friday night we were supposed to meet at Cheesecake Factory to celebrate, but I had to leave work early because my tummy was upset Friday afternoon. So, I cancelled because I didn’t want to burp and fart all through dinner.

Saturday I spent the day with Lubbock, and we watched movies and made a pot of soup and some hot cider. I finally saw Inglorious Basterds. Pretty good movie. Then we watched Whip It, the Austin based story of a girl (Ellen Page) who decides that she wants to play roller derby instead of competing in beauty pageants. That movie was directed by Drew Barrymore, and I give it a solid B. It’s cute.

During the course of watching Inglorious Basterds, it suddenly occurs to Lubbock to tell me that she has met Quentin Tarrantino. I once wrote a post about my Brushes with Fame, more as kind of a big, fat joke than anything else, but Lubbock has met more famous people by accident than anyone I know. She used to be a model and wears a size 2; I have a theory that that might have something to do with it.

Lineman, Lubbock’s boyfriend, gives her a run for her money because he used to be a musician, so while I don’t know everyone he’s ever played with, and he doesn’t brag about it unless you coax him – Hel-lo! Jimmy Page!

But back to the story of how Lubbock knows Quentin Tarrantino, sort of. This was in 1989, and Tarrantino I guess was working on location on the crew of some movie set in Lubbock (the town, not my friend). And Quentin and Lubbock and one of her girlfriends hung out together one afternoon at the mall. This was right after Lubbock’s divorce when she was in a relationship with the Custard King, a man I finally met at a brunch with Lubbock at Trudy’s last weekend. Custard King, that is.

But back to Tarrantino.

Gooseberry: What’s he like?

Lubbock: Well, you know he used to be fat, and that he’s kind of nerdy. This was before he was famous.

Gooseberry: Yeah. Well, I can’t believe you never told me about this before. We’ve known each other for seven years.

Lubbock: It just never came up. I forget a lot now. Remember? Just the other day I forgot that you’ve aged at all in the last seven years. I still think you’re 32.

Gooseberry: Thank you.

Sunday I went to the Mr. Brewsters because one of the Mr. Brewsters was having a quiet birthday celebration at home, the one whose birthday it is. Lasagna and garlic bread and bruschetta and knockoff Olive Garden salad. Good stuff. We hung out all afternoon. I got him the second half of the first season of Glee on DVD. I had an unusually girly girl moment. I decided to buy some scrapbook stickers and decorate his gift bag.

I also bought a bunch of crap from the dollar bins at Target. Stuff for the Punky, all Disney princess stuff because every two year old needs her own Princess refrigerator magnets and her own Disney princess calendar.

The Target store I went to has a Michael’s across the street, so I bought some yarn and a crochet hook. I figured that without a dog I would have more time on my hands and so it would be good to start a hobby. So, I figured that one of the Mr. Brewsters (the older one) could teach me how to crochet. In truth, I’ve done some crocheting with thread when I was a kid, but I never had the patience for it. However, I figure that yarn has got to be more forgiving.

So, Mr. Brewster teaches me how to do a granny square, and I finish the first one, confident that I can remember the pattern because it is really easy. I finish three of them before the evening is over.

I ask him, “How many of these do I have to finish to have an afghan?” I wonder if the blanket is named after the dog and if they’re both named after the country. Or maybe the country is named after the blanket or the dog. In photos of Afghanistan, I never see anyone wearing crochet or knit wear.

“Oh, about a hundred.”

Three down, ninety-seven to go.

After the birthday dinner, I have a standing date to watch Boardwalk Empire every Sunday night with Lubbock. I finish another granny square there. Lubbock thinks it’s pretty cool that I can crochet. I was afraid that she would make fun of me. After the show ends, she flips around to some Lifetime movie called Who Is Clark Rockefeller?

This Lifetime movie is about a sociopathic con man who preys upon women and the woman who married him. It stars Sherry Stringfield from ER and Eric McCormack from Will & Grace. There’s a scene right after Sherry finds out that Will is actually this German exchange student who might have murdered someone, where she’s yelling across a table at him, with their divorce lawyers present, and she calls him a lying bastard. I think she might have spit. I laughed out loud; it was unintentionally funny.

Lubbock: This is serious. I find this movie creepy and disturbing. I tell you I watched it late one night last week, and I couldn’t get to sleep afterwards for some reason.

Gooseberry: I think they should rename this channel The Victim Channel. Have you ever noticed that all these TV movies are about a woman in peril?

Lubbock: That’s pretty good. Or the All Men Are Evil Channel.

Gooseberry: It would beat Lifetime. That’s not really indicative of the true spirit of the network.

Entry filed under: Celebrity, Entertainment, Humor. Tags: , , , , , , , .

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