What I Learned from the Manosphere
Some observations on the manosphere, as it’s called, are called for in this post, and then I’m done with the manosphere because I find it a dreary and depressing world. They have their own vocabulary about rationalization hamsters and hypergamy (whatever the hell that is; I don’t care), and they use shaming language. They talk about Alpha Males and Beta Males – Alphas presumably being the guys who got picked first in gym class or the ones with fat bank accounts. As far as I can tell all women are bitches and hags and sluts. It’s not a pretty place, and it’s full of hatred.
This is these men’s reaction to their personal pain. These are angry white men, the kind of men who list Falling Down and Fight Club as their favorite films. They are angry because they perceive that we don’t appreciate them or we’ve rendered them undesirable or obsolete.
None of these men spend their blog posts talking about how great women are or how they appreciate us. It’s spent talking about how to play the game and manipulate us into mating with them. Obviously, it’s not working as well as they’d like for it to – or they’d be blogging about how much ass they’re getting and how life is super great now that women love them.
There’s a lot of emphasis on the double standard on these sites. I’m not opposed to men taking our sexual history under consideration when picking a mate. What I’m opposed to is that our character and chastity is on trial while theirs is not. I’d want to know that I’m not marrying a Tiger Woods or a Jesse James. They have a right to ascertain the same.
What I have to wonder, since I read on the OkCupid website that something like 90% of the men spend 90% of the time chasing the top ten percent of women (judged on a criteria of looks alone), is why don’t these men relax their standards? No one is asking them to date Helen Mirren (although, I personally think they could do worse), but there are a lot of fine women out there in their thirties who take good care of themselves. There are a lot of women who don’t look like Megan Fox or Adriana Lima or Angelina Jolie who are still very attractive.
What I’m saying here is that maybe relaxing standards is a good idea for both sexes. I don’t recommend relaxing your standards on issues of character and integrity. I still think both sexes have a right to be with someone that they find physically attractive. But if a Beta male of 45 is still chasing supermodels from the age of 18 – 26, then maybe, just maybe, if he’s not having much success at it, he’s feeding a rationalization hamster himself. And if he is successful, then why is he spending all his time online bitching instead of bragging?
Also, another word of advice for both sexes. At the risk of sounding like a smart ass, I’m going to quote Depeche Mode. “People are people, so why should it be you and I should get along so awfully?” How about men treating women with respect and vice versa? Maybe you might have more success with the opposite sex if you saw them as people and not as the enemy.
Entry filed under: Love, Media, Men, Relationships, Sex, Social Commentary, Women's Rights, Writing. Tags: Adriana Lima, Alpha (ethology), Angelina Jolie, Fight Club, Helen Mirren, Megan Fox, OkCupid, Tiger Woods.