Buy Jesse James’ Book, Get Bonus Free Ticket to Hell

May 6, 2011 at 11:04 pm 3 comments

Jesse James pauses for his wife Sandra Bullock...

Image via Wikipedia

At the risk of seeming shallow I am going to write two posts in a row about celebrity gossip items. This time I’m going to harp on Jesse James again. He’s just written an “autobiography,” and the publicity whore is going on any talk show that will have him in order to promote it. You can bet the book was actually written by a ghostwriter. I’m not giving you the name of the book because I don’t want WordPress to link to it, and also because I don’t want to give him any more free publicity than this rant is already giving him.

Yes, I’m going to say it. If you buy Jesse James’ book, you are going straight to hell. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. I don’t care if you read free excerpts on the internet or if you glance through it at your pathetic friend’s house, but, by God, do not give that creep any of your hard earned cash!

This guy is a POS. I am embarrassed that I live in Austin. Can’t he just move back to LA where his kind of douchebag so naturally flourishes? Please?

We all know that the real reason that he moved out here had absolutely nothing to do with any stepmothering and absolutely everything to do with winning back Sandy. Unfortunately for him, Sandy doesn’t like eating shit. So, he got shot down. Now he’s bitter about it

Within a matter of a few short months he’s engaged to his new best friend, Kat von D, another trashy, tattoo covered second rate reality show celebrity like himself. That’s because his love for Sandy was so constant, unwavering, and eternal. Kat will also sell her soul to the highest bidder for some publicity, going on the Dr. Drew show to discuss how much Jesse’s changed. Honey, he hasn’t changed. He just hasn’t had enough time to show his true colors. Just wait ‘til he asks you what kind of bread you like on your shit sandwich. Those two deserve each other, though. She also has a history of cheating.

Here’s what I don’t understand about Jesse James. He says he’s written this book so that America will be more sympathetic toward him. He wants us to be able to relate and to understand that any marriage involves two people. It takes two people to make it work and two people to make it fail. He also wants us to know that the sex scandal caused by his numerous infidelities was more hurtful for him than it was for his wife.

Really? Jesse, are you absolutely certain about that? You think your wife wasn’t privately devastated AND publicly humiliated by YOUR selfish actions? He says that he doesn’t want to blame Sandra Bullock, but actually, that’s exactly what he is doing. He’s saying he never believed Sandra loved him and that he felt trapped in the marriage and that being unfaithful was a way to assert his independence. Huh. You couldn’t just join a bowling league or do some fantasy football? And if you felt like you were never yourself around Sandra and that if you had been yourself that she wouldn’t have loved you, just how exactly is that HER fault? I fail to see the logic.

You know what else Jesse’s saying? He says that he can’t worry about Sandy anymore because he worried constantly about what she thought and felt for the 5 years that they were married. I think the problem was that he didn’t think enough about Sandy’s feelings. Because if he’d thought about anyone besides himself, then he and Sandy would still be married.

He’s continuing to be the same douchebag he’s always been. He won’t ever change. And Sandy was smart enough to get out from under that albatross. This book and his interviews, including a tacky trip to the Howard Stern show where he confirms that Kat von D is a “100%” better lover than Sandra Bullock, are clear evidence that Jesse James has all the emotional maturity of a flea.

I read a commentary about all this shit on the internet where the writer said basically that Jesse James was using this opportunity to further humiliate Sandra Bullock. I beg to differ. Jesse James is not humiliating anyone but himself. Sandra has had the class to remain silent and respectful of a man who doesn’t deserve the consideration.

Jesse, do yourself a favor. Hire a PR rep. Get someone to help you keep your big mouth shut. Because if you thought you were the most hated man in America before your book came out, you were definitely wrong. However, since Osama bin Laden’s death coincides with your book tour, I think you just might have earned that title now.


Entry filed under: Adultery, Celebrity, Ethics, Manners, Marriage, Relationships, Social Commentary. Tags: , , , , , , , .

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3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. sandraroffel  |  May 10, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    I hope you sent Sandra Bullock’s people a copy.
    Well said.

  • 2. Dro01  |  May 21, 2011 at 1:09 am

    I just read the entire book and I have a differnt view. Compared to Arnold S., and John Edwards, Jesse James is a saint.

    • 3. Author  |  May 21, 2011 at 9:32 pm

      Your standards aren’t very high there.


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